I am sorry you are having to cope with such difficult thoughts. I admire and deeply respect your persistence in seeking treatment and some relief. You have a great deal of courage, determination and perspective to keep finding ways to cope and people to support you.
You’ve done the right thing by being honest with your therapist about how you are feeling. Right now your therapist is the person who is doing what he or she can to help you. Keep talking honestly to them and let them keep working with you to find a better way of getting your mom on board.
Because I don’t know you personally or the dynamics of the situation the best I can do is offer how I would think about the situation. But please remember your therapist needs to be the person to help guide this and my thoughts are not meant as anything other than another perspective. There could be many reasons why this perspective isn’t healthy, possible, or timely. That being said I will offer some thoughts that reflect what you’ve said — and more importantly what you haven’t said.
You mention that you’ve tried talking to your parents, but then focus on your mom, and there is nothing about where your dad is in this situation. You mention that they think you are doing it for attention, but the focus comes back to mom. The first thing I would think of is to get your mom and dad in the same room with the therapist. There can be many reasons why this may not be possible or viable and you’ll have to follow your therapist’s guidance on this, but it sounds like the therapist may need to articulate your situation more directly to mom and dad while you are there.
Again, there may be many reasons why this hasn’t happened that can be very legitimate, but if both of your parents are dismissing your suicidal thoughts and plans as attention-seeking rather than an important emotional issue it seems like educating them on what is happening may be necessary. Programs and therapists dealing with adolescent thoughts and plans of suicide are typically very familiar with needing to talk to the parents. There is very good research described here that speaks to this issue. There are also more general guidelines discussed here about this.
The key here is to remember there is ALWAYS another solution, even if you can’t see it right now. Let your therapist help you in dealing with your parents and getting them to understand what they can do to help, while also helping you to find ways to continue to help yourself.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral