It’s okay to want to be alone, especially if that’s your preference, however it’s not good for your mental health. Human beings are social creatures. We generally like to be around other people. Of course, there are some people who prefer more independence than others and that is perfectly fine, but, generally, most people want to be around others. Even if it’s not their preference, they can at least tolerate being around others.
Studies show that there are many benefits to having social relationships. When comparing people who have more active social lives to people with less active social lives, researchers consistently find that the former experience many positive benefits. These include living longer, having better physical health and mental health outcomes, increased resiliency, and a decreased risk of developing dementia.
What matters most is having relationships that are meaningful. Being friends with everyone isn’t necessarily good for your mental health. Most psychologically healthy people have only a few good friends. That’s because these relationships take a great deal of time to cultivate and maintain.
It would be good to understand why you are increasingly self-isolating. The main problem you seem to have is your inability to tolerate being around other people. This inability has led to negative outcomes in your life. It’s causing you to have poor grades and could potentially be a major problem for you once you graduate and try to enter the workforce.
Unless you work from home, you’re going to have to interact with people. Even if you did work from home, you would likely have your own business or work for a business, and in that circumstance, you’re probably still going to have to interact with people. If you cannot interact with people in a manner that is acceptable to them, then your business would suffer. The bottom line is that it’s important to explore why you have developed this intolerance to people and most importantly, how to fix it so that you can function in the world. Otherwise, it is you who will suffer the consequences. If you can’t work then you can’t pay your bills. It is important not ignore this problem and face it head on.
The solution to this problem is counseling. Counseling, in your view, is not desirable or convenient but you have admitted to their being a problem in your life. Whenever you have a problem, the most responsible course of action is to seek help for it. I know that you tried counseling once and it wasn’t helpful but you shouldn’t stop trying.
Not all therapists are the same. It takes time to find the right therapist. You shouldn’t give up after only one try. I usually suggest that consulting at least four or five therapists before choosing the one you like. You may even have to consult more than that. Finding good help could make all the difference in your life. It could mean the difference between unhappiness and happiness, success and failure. Some people are not willing to put forth the time it takes to find a good therapist but it is well worth the effort.
Hopefully, I have convinced you to try therapy again. Good luck and please take care.
