I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that it’s important to take it seriously. It’s possible that there is so much talk on social media about suicide as a way some teens solve problems that you are sort of “trying it on” when things get tough. (What’s reassuring to me is that you have enough self-esteem and good sense to reject the idea.) On the other hand, the thoughts may be a symptom of something more serious medically or psychologically. For your own peace of mind, you need to get help to figure it out.
In order to do that, I urge you to see a counselor ASAP. You have already been troubled too long by this. You are also troubled that you may be troubled. If you let that continue, you are likely to get increasingly anxious about it. A counselor can talk to you in detail about your experience and can help you tease out what is going on.
You live in an area where there are many qualified counselors who work with teens and young adults. Talk to your school counselor or to your doctor about who they suggest. By all means, involve your parents if you can. I hope you have folks who will support you in getting the help you need and who will accept some guidance about how best to help you.
I wish you well.