Please be cautious about accepting an assessment from an online “test”. Such tests are not meant to be a substitute for careful assessment by a licensed clinician. They are only meant to flag potential issues so you can think about them. Since you were emotionally and physically beaten down by someone you loved, you are vulnerable to taking on far too much blame and shame. People who have been victimized often question themselves, as you do. That probably skewed how you answered the items on the test.
I wish I could give you a simple answer to your questions. I can tell that you genuinely don’t want to hurt anyone and that you just as genuinely want to heal. But the questions you asked are too complicated for a simple answer. You deserve better than some glib response from me.
You are asking thoughtful, complex questions. You deserve equally thoughtful, complex answers. For that reason, I do urge you to see a therapist to get the support you need to heal from an abusive, controlling relationship. If you could recover on your own, you would have done so already. You need and deserve the help a therapist can provide.
I wish you well,