Thank you for writing. The most important thing you said in your letter is that your dad is uncomfortable with sensitivity. I have a feeling that the problem is not that he doesn’t want you around. Believe what you wrote. He doesn’t want to (or know how to) deal openly with sensitivity. He may be one of those guys who was raised to think that emotions in men should not be talked about or shown.
It’s unusual to be adopted at 17. I’m guessing your parents’ decision to adopt you was complicated but ultimately was one of love and the best of intentions. You say you came with mental struggles. Your struggles got added to the mix. It may be that your folks were not quite prepared to be parents of someone who had already been through a lot. It may be that your expectations aren’t quite in line with their’s. That doesn’t mean that the decision wasn’t wise. It does make it markedly different from an adoption when a child is under 3 years old.
My best recommendation to all of you is that you get into some family therapy for awhile. You all need help learning how to read each other accurately. You all need support in helping everyone feel the love and appreciation that is already there but not communicated as well as it could be. The fact that you wrote to us here at PsychCentral tells me that you very much want it to work. The fact that your parents did adopt you tells me they want it to work as well.
I wish you well.