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Have I Confused My Therapist?

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From a young teen in the U.S.  So for almost an entire year now, I have not considered myself as TRULY human. But more of a fox/wolf type thing. My therapist himself has said I’m abnormally intelligent for my age. And has also said he’s never really seen anyone like me before. We are only having our second session today, I get that. But i feel like he’s not really understanding my behavior.

I have told him about how I smirk and laugh when I’ve greatly confused someone. I smile because I’m one step ahead of them and I feel proud of myself for outsmarting adults. I have thoughts and urges that are animalistic, to put it simply.  He said my “low levels of empathy”could be caused by my traumatic experiences.

He has agreed with my mother that I’m apparently living in a delusion because I don’t want to be like other people. I want to be….more. and the way I want to be different is simply not realistic. Not human. Not possible. But I know it is, because I’m the only one in my family to have made it as far as I have. I’m like no one else I’ve ever met. But everyone wants me to be normal and be lower then I am. To be less of myself.

I  have tried telling my therapist about how the wolf and the fox connect to me. And he gets so overwhelmed…. it’s like he’s never even heard of it. How do I connect to his level so he can understand mine? And my biggest fear is, if i’m mentally ill, is there a chance it’s very rare? Or even…. I’m the first? And I also feel like he’s hiding something. He’s hesitant when I bring up this subject and seems to quickly dismiss it, am I being paranoid?

Have I Confused My Therapist?

Answered by on -

A.

Hello. I’m glad you wrote. If you had already had a great many sessions with your therapist, I’d be alarmed by all this. As it is, having had only one session, I think the two of you may simply not be a match. You see, the most important factor in the success of therapy is whether the therapist and client feel there is a connection. If you feel you can trust and confide in the therapist and the therapist feels that she or he can help, then it’s likely that your therapy will move forward successfully.

In your case, you are reporting that you don’t feel that your therapist has the skills to deal with your issues. You even feel that you overwhelmed him. It’s possible that you should have interviews with a few therapists and then choose the person you feel gets you.

On the other hand, you also said that you like to think of yourself as smarter than anyone else and that you are proud that you can be one step ahead of adults. Is it possible that your reaction to the therapist is more of the same? If so, then it is important for you to work it through with the therapist. This might be the beginning of the important work you need to do.

You see, therapy is not about a competition for who is smarter. You may well have a higher IQ than most. But there are different kinds of intelligence. A therapist has honed his or her skills in emotional intelligence as well as the intellectual. They can therefore often offer you a different perspective on your thoughts and feelings. Your job as a client is not to try to outsmart the therapist but to use your smarts to help yourself. Your therapist’s job is to introduce new information and alternative perspectives for you to consider.

Something else for you to consider: A therapist has never seen anyone like the person in front of him or her at the time. Everyone is unique. Everyone’s story is their personal history and their personal experience. Everyone has their own language for trying to communicate what they think and feel. But here’s the thing: It’s also true that everyone is unique — just like everyone else. One of the remarkable things about people is that they are generally more alike than different. It gives everyone a place to start when making a new relationship, whether with a friend, a lover, or even a therapist. Then it is the ‘uniqueness”, the special qualities or combination of qualities of the individual. that makes him or her interesting. That’s often what we talk about in treatment.

I don’t have enough information to know if you are mentally ill or paranoid. It do think you are an interesting person who could benefit from therapy – if you can get past your own fear that just maybe you aren’t as unique as you think you are. That’s a tall order. But I think someone as smart as you can probably do it.

I wish you well.

Dr. Marie

Have I Confused My Therapist?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). Have I Confused My Therapist?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/09/11/have-i-confused-my-therapist/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 9 Sep 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 9 Sep 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.