Thank you for writing. I can’t make a diagnosis solely on the basis of a short letter, of course. But I can tell you that what you report is consistent with symptoms of depression.
It is not unusual for young people who are recently graduated from high school to have a period of questioning. All of a sudden, somehow magically on graduation day, you are seen as an adult. Others probably expect you to have goals and the motivation to achieve them. Easier said than done. So do you.
It’s a huge step into adulthood. Kids who have thought about it (and maybe stressed about it) for much of the senior year usually have figured out what they are going to do next, whether it is college or a job. Kids who avoided thinking about it find themselves quite suddenly without a plan for. This is a crisis of identity.
Sadly, there are kids who try to solve the problem through partying or endlessly playing video games. It’s a grand scheme of avoidance that will certainly bite them later. Other kids sink into immobility, thinking if they don’t make a move, they won’t make a mistake. Of course, that doesn’t work either. Not moving is a mistake. Others get high or party, telling themselves they will think about it tomorrow. Somehow tomorrow never comes and they are in the same going nowhere rut a year from now. At least you haven’t added a layer of addiction to the original problem. Give yourself credit for that.
The way out is probably therapy. Ask your mother to permit an evaluation by a mental health counselor. An evaluation often costs nothing. Unlike me, the counselor will be able to hear your complete story. They will then give you some ideas about what to do next. It is then your choice of whether or not to follow those suggestions.
If you could figure this out on your own (or if your mom could), you would have done it already. Since you haven’t, the wise thing to do is to call in a consultant.
I wish you well.