Thank you for writing. I think you already know that her choice to change jobs isn’t about you. Having raised you and your sister with the stability and consistency of being with you in the same school, she now sees an opportunity for change. My guess is that she needs to stretch herself in new ways and can’t do so in a place where expectations are that she will continue as she always has. It’s something to celebrate that she is willing to take the risk and explore something new and different.
It’s possible that you are grieving childhood’s end. Your mother’s decision to move on in her career does indicate that your childhood is over. Like most adult children, there is a part of you that wants to hold time still; that wants nothing to change at “home” while you make all the changes. It does offer some comfort and security to think that way. But parents are people too. It’s natural for them to want to grow and change too.
I’m glad you aren’t sharing your extreme reactions with your mother. You are probably right that she needs and appreciates your support, just as you often need hers. If you can’t help her move her personal things without breaking down, maybe you should find another way to be helpful.
If this explanation isn’t enough to help you make sense of your tears, please do consider seeing a therapist for a few sessions to work it through.
I wish you well.