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Weariness

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I am extremely observant of people as I had high intellect but a very low understanding of people’s motivators.
I ended up being able to charm just about anyone, being able to understand people’s states and inner beliefs almost at a glance, and feeling terribly weary and disillusioned for it.
I often find myself exasperated “are you really that dumb?” “Where’s your ability to judge your own situation?” “So slow. People’s internal actions and reactions are so dull, slow, foolish, and I cannot say anything because they won’t be able to understand my words, and I know exactly why.
It seems to me that people are often walking happily to their own emotional and personal demise and they will not listen to me, they are convinced that how they ‘feel they are entitled to act’ is the ultimate truth.
I often feel like I am surrounded by sleepwalkers.
The worst feeling in life is to be able to manipulate someone so easily and see them react exactly as you expected they would, as though they are machines devoid of sense and independent thought.
It is the worst feeling because those little tricks I play out of boredom prove again and again that I am right.
Who the hell wants to be right about something like this!!!??
I am right about enough already, ever since kindergarten!! I don’t need to be right about despair!!!
I am extremely intellectual but I would still enjoy ‘human contact’ right?
Although since humans are what I understand them to be, I may as well be an alien.
*Laughs bleakly* (From New Zealand)

Weariness

Answered by on -

A.

I think you have some decisions to make about how you want to be in the world. You describe yourself as “extremely intellectual” yet feel contempt for others who may not be so endowed. You describe yourself as observant, and yet only seem to be observing ignorance and ineptitude. You see where others are stuck, and yet cannot find a way to help. Instead your sense of preeminence has you as a witness to other’s despair, but only seem able to manipulate others and identify them as “machines devoid of sense and independent thought.”

If you do have this high degree of perception it is curious that it isn’t balanced. It is colored by a sense of superiority that diminishes rather than attempts to help others. Perhaps the work for you isn’t to notice how others won’t be able to understand you, but what you might need to do to learn how to help alleviate other’s suffering. What seems lacking is a sense of empathy, compassion, and kindness. Your high degree of perception has a blind spot.

To counteract this (if you care to) I recommend learning more about who you are, your potential, and what character strengths you possess. Character strengths are those abilities that, when used in the right way, improve our well-being and help others.

There are a total of 24 character strengths based on six virtues with over 8 million people having taken it. Look at this list of character strengths and virtues. You will see the six virtues followed by the character strengths associated with them.

  1. Wisdom and Knowledge: Creativity or innovation, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
  2. Courage: Bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality or zest
  3. Humanity: Love, kindness, social intelligence
  4. Justice: Citizenship, fairness, leadership
  5. Temperance: Forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self-control
  6. Transcendence: Appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality

I’d begin by taking the viacharacter.org strength survey to learn more specifically about what you are good at—and then learn how to use and improve these strengths. This will allow you to use your keep perception of other’s needs and find ways to support rather than distance yourself from them. This will give you the “human contact” you are looking for.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Weariness

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2019). Weariness. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/07/22/weariness/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 18 Jul 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 18 Jul 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.