If I had the opportunity to interview you, I would want to know more about your personal life history. You stated that you have no mental illnesses with the exception of minor anxiety. What about trauma? Any unpleasant experiences with your family? Are you a victim of abuse? Those types of questions, and many more regarding your history, would need to be answered in order to explain “why” you feel the way you do.
Often, people who have interests similar to yours have had a traumatic history. Certainly, that’s not the case with everyone but many individuals who have the desire to harm others have been hurt themselves.
It is not the norm to want to “rape” children. It is unusual to want to murder your family and to like the idea of doing so. It is abnormal to both have fantasies about sex with animals and to carry out the act. All of these things are morally wrong and illegal.
Individuals who are attracted to children are referred to as pedophiles. Individuals who are diagnosed with pedophilia have met the following diagnostic criteria:
- for at least six months, have recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children, generally 13 years or younger;
- have acted upon these urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty;
- the individual is at least 16 years old and is at least five years older than the child or children mentioned above.
The most concerning aspect of your letter is that you know these things are wrong but still like the idea of them. It’s also concerning that you acted out one of your fantasies. This demonstrates your willingness to abuse less powerful others.
Legally, engaging in sexual behavior with an animal is referred to as bestiality. In the mental health literature, it’s referred to as zoophilia. The research about these topics is scarce, but the early work suggests that approximately three to eight percent of the population may engage in sex with animals. Though there is no single profile of offenders, most are white males between the ages of 30 and 50 whose first sexual encounter with an animal occurs around the age of 13. From a psychological perspective, little else is known about this topic.
Bestiality is illegal in the United States. In many states, it is a misdemeanor charge but many states are attempting to increase the penalties by classifying it as a felony offense. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) now collects data on animal cruelty. Intentionally harming animals is strongly correlated with violence against people.
For the sake of innocent children and animals, it is of the utmost importance that you do everything in your power to ensure that you never hurt a child or an animal. I would strongly recommend consulting a mental health professional. These problems can be managed with counseling. If you do not have children (it was unclear as written), I would advise against having children until these problems are resolved. Without the right help, you are at risk of engaging in behaviors that could lead to a lifetime of incarceration and or the harm of innocent others. Counseling can assist you in developing strategies for preventing sexual offending or engaging in violence against people and animals. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle