I hope you don’t trust him. You shouldn’t. He isn’t your boyfriend. He isn’t even your friend. What little self-esteem you have left is what caused you to write your letter. This guy is emotionally abusing you and financially using you. You deserve so much better. So does your little boy.
I understand that you probably want your son to have a father. But it’s just not true that every man who fathers a child is fit to be a dad. Your partner hasn’t committed himself to you by marrying you. He hasn’t manned up as a father since his son was born. He is unlikely to change. From his point of view, he’s got it made. He has a place to live and no responsibilities.
What you should do at this point is see a lawyer to find out what your rights are. If you are worried that starting a petition for child support will escalate his violence, look into whether there is a women’s shelter near you. Counselors there will help you figure out how to leave safely. Another resource is the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1 800 799 7233. Counselors are available 24/7 to help women like you.
If your boyfriend monitors your email or phone, erase this response immediately. Guys like him are sometimes triggered into further anger and even violence when they know their partner is looking for help to get out. Use the library’s computer or a friend’s phone to get the information you need.
Staying with this guy will only mean more pain. Your self-esteem is being worn away by name-calling, cheating behavior, and the threat of violence.
Your letter was an important first step toward a healthier and happier life. Take the next one — now! Make those calls and get out!!
I wish you well.