There are two possibilities that could help: one would be moving out and the second would be asking her to participate in family therapy.
At 19, you’re an adult. However, you may not be ready or able to leave at this time. Unfortunately, in that case you’re likely going to have to follow her rules whether you agree with them or not. She has a lot of input into your life and that will likely continue should you continue living at her home. That’s is simply the reality of the situation.
Regarding the second option, you might ask her if she would be willing to participate in therapy. Depending on the nature and the complexity of the problems, the two of you could go together or the family can attend as a group. Discuss this with your psychologist. They may have ideas about how to approach your mother regarding therapy.
Until you become more independent or come to some other resolution, the power struggle may persist. In the meantime, try to keep your distance from your mother, if possible. Understandably, that may be difficult given that the two of you live in the same home. In all likelihood, she is worried about your life choices and is trying to prevent you from making mistakes. Her intentions are probably good but she is struggling with how to best express herself. Best of luck to you. Thank you for your question.
Dr. Kristina Randle