Your mom doesn’t sound like she’s able to take care of her own needs adequately. It also seems like she becomes overwhelmed when dealing with yours.
I think you going to a psychologist on your own was precisely the right thing to do. You are over the age where you’d need your mother’s permission, and her opinion should not influence your decisions. Your mental well-being, your boyfriend, your life — no longer needs your mother’s clearance.
It is time for you to develop greater autonomy, more independence, continued self-care, and individuation. Do what you can do is become more independent. It is time to get out and away from an intrusive, controlling mom. If she isn’t willing to understand your needs, respect your privacy, and understand her actions are harmful to you — then it may be time to craft a life away from her and more on your own.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral