It can be devastating to watch a sibling immersed in a destructive relationship. The hard part is that if you try to fix it, you’ll become part of the problem.
Your brother’s need for chaos doesn’t have to become yours. Let him know you care about him and can see he is struggling, and ask if there is anything you can do to help. You let him know you care about him and want to help the essential message.
Often this type of constant fighting and anger management issue is fueled by alcohol and or drug abuse. If that’s the case, your brother might profit from going to an open Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) meeting that you could offer to go with him. Not all relationship and family constant fights involve alcohol, but the percentage is high enough that it is worth mentioning.
Detaching with love and compassion is the direction you need to move in. Let him know you care and have love for him help in whatever way you can, but he isn’t yours to fix. Self-care on your part is primary. Your brother will have to figure out the kind of life he wants to live by doing his own work.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral