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My Brother Is Going Back to the Same Relationship and Is Fighting with Father

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For about two years now, my brother had been dating this girl, and she has broken up with him six times. He keeps going back to her he just about got in a wreck a month ago over it. He has been fighting with my dad about every little thing. Then talks to her after every fight.

My Brother Is Going Back to the Same Relationship and Is Fighting with Father

Answered by on -

A.

It can be devastating to watch a sibling immersed in a destructive relationship. The hard part is that if you try to fix it, you’ll become part of the problem.

Your brother’s need for chaos doesn’t have to become yours. Let him know you care about him and can see he is struggling, and ask if there is anything you can do to help. You let him know you care about him and want to help the essential message.

Often this type of constant fighting and anger management issue is fueled by alcohol and or drug abuse. If that’s the case, your brother might profit from going to an open Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) meeting that you could offer to go with him. Not all relationship and family constant fights involve alcohol, but the percentage is high enough that it is worth mentioning.

Detaching with love and compassion is the direction you need to move in. Let him know you care and have love for him help in whatever way you can, but he isn’t yours to fix. Self-care on your part is primary. Your brother will have to figure out the kind of life he wants to live by doing his own work.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Brother Is Going Back to the Same Relationship and Is Fighting with Father

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2019). My Brother Is Going Back to the Same Relationship and Is Fighting with Father. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/05/26/my-brother-is-going-back-to-the-same-relationship-and-is-fighting-with-father/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 25 May 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 25 May 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.