My girlfriend who has my best friend for 2 years and I decided to move into a relationship. She an introvert INFJ. We have both been in love since we both met but never acted on it. On my first visit I discovered she was lying about communication with a male friend who she had a one-night stand with last summer.
The only expectation I set was that this relationship be honest and transparent. She agreed but kept him a secret. She said she thought she’d lose him. I don’t even know why she thought she would lose him. I definitely didn’t say anything for her to lead her to think that.
Committed to make it work I stayed, and we became intimate two nights later. During sex she didn’t want me to go down on her. I said ok no problem. Then I asked if she would perform cowgirl and she didn’t want to. I asked why and she gave me no reason. Later she tells me it’s because she loves me so much and it’s super special for her to have sex with me. Also mentioned that she needs to feel safe before doing that act. It was strange because she gave her all to her one-night stand. In fact, with even a different relationship prior on the first night.
Got passed it and I visited her again two weeks later. This time during sex I asked for oral sex and she refused. I asked why and again no reason. Then she says it’s because she was afraid that she would do it wrong. I asked her where she got this idea from especially after I told her that she was amazing at it during our first sexual encounter.
She says she needs time to get comfortable because it’s different with me because I’m special. Again, she gave all of her to previous partners. However because I’m special she doesn’t want to give me those she freely have to her other encounters.
I ask her about what she likes and she says she doesn’t know?
I think she enjoys certain sexual types of sex but doesn’t tell me. She’s given them all of her but with me she withholds. Even the one who exhibited violence in bed.
I’m lost and don’t understand? Help! (From the USA)