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Could I Be a Sociopath?

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From a middle schooler in the U.S.: There are some reasons why I think I might be possibly a sociopath. One is, I know I lack a lot of empathy. A lot of people that know me tell me this. An example is, one time I made my friend upset (she was crying a lot) and I didn’t care at all. I knew how she was feeling but I didn’t really care. I didn’t feel any remorse.

Now there are times though when I do feel remorse but it’s only towards specific people and its not all the time. I also always have the urge to do something illegal (not anything insane though). I’m pretty young so I have not done anything yet. I do get in some pretty big trouble in school though… I lie a lot and I have a very big history of it. I would lie when I was younger and everyone believed me. I lie to get things I want. I also get pretty upset when I don’t get things I want. That’s the problem most the time I am upset it’s usually from not getting what I want. When I go to school vs when I come home. I am like two different people. When I go to school I always have a smile on my face. When I am at home I usually am myself. I might just have tendencies and nothing more. I have really no one to talk to because I don’t talk to others about these sorts of things about myself at all.

Could I Be a Sociopath?

Answered by on -


I doubt very much that you are a sociopath. The fact that you are concerned about being sociopathic is, ironically, an indication that you probably aren’t.

At 13, you are at the beginning of the teen years, a time when people figure out who they are and what they value — and when people often make decisions about what kind of person they want to be. Your letter shows you are a sensitive person who is considering big questions.

My guess is that it is a little scary to you to think about really understanding another person’s pain so you avoid it. My other guess is that you understand that behavior as a kid isn’t going to be helpful as you get older, but you aren’t sure how to go about changing a pattern of lying. These are exactly the kinds of issues you should be thinking about at this point in your life. You can decide how you want to use your natural sensitivity and what changes you want to make.

I’m sorry that you don’t think your friends could relate. Chances are that many of them are dealing with the same kinds of questions. Sadly everyone is thinking that no one else is grappling with the same stuff so no one shares and everyone feels like they are the only weird kid thinking about this stuff. Believe me, every teen struggles with it. It’s perfectly normal. I hope you will start to make some baby steps toward having heart-to-hearts with friends or maybe with adults you trust. You don’t have to figure this all out on your own.

I wish you well.

Dr. Marie

Could I Be a Sociopath?

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). Could I Be a Sociopath?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 6, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 May 2019 (Originally: 18 May 2019)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 15 May 2019
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