I’m sure this is heart-breaking. It’s possible the counselor is correct. Children often do their best to try to get their parents back together regardless of the quality of their family. But what concerns me is that this has been going on for 2 years.
I’m concerned that the counselor reached a conclusion after only one interview. You didn’t tell me if you have that information directly or if the children’s parents said so. If the latter, I do have to wonder if they are telling you the truth. Parents often don’t want others to know if they aren’t adequately caring for their children or worse.
If there was only one interview, I do think a second opinion may be in order. I’m concerned about the length of time the kids have been telling you these stories and I’m concerned that the younger child is soiling his pants.
I also think these children need some professional help, regardless of the findings. Whether they are being abused or lying, these kids need some help from an experienced, licensed child therapist. If they are being abused, they need to know that they are listened to and that adults will protect them. If they are lying, they need to be helped to accept their parents’ separation and to learn that lying is not an acceptable way to manage their distress.
I wish you well.