I’m very glad you wrote. It sounds to me like your husband may be having a major issue with his self-confidence about whether he can find work or manage school. Rather than deal with it, he is avoiding the problem by playing games and shoring up his self-esteem by seeking validation from women. At this point, he may also be retreating into an adolescent addiction with the video games. His “solution” of playing the games has become another dimension of his problem.
Fighting about it isn’t helping. His behavior toward you is unacceptable. If you are his “everything”, he owes it to you as well as himself to get the help for the core problems. That means going into couple and individual therapy, instead of to the computer.
Only you can decide how long you will put up with his avoidance behavior and abuse. But I do encourage you to think about whether it is time for you to issue an ultimatum.
I wish you well.