The chances are you already know what I’m going to say as you are a highly trained professional and have worked with domestic violence. It is my experience that there is a reason each of us is drawn to the work we do in the helping professions, and it is often trying to heal something in others that we need to heal within ourselves.
Every single feature of an extremely unhealthy and abusive relationship is in your statement: He is angry every day, it began when you got closer to each other when you moved in together, he frightens you for doing nothing—being too quiet and creates a double-bind because you are now too scared to speak, you are walking on eggshells, you dread alone time with him, he hates everyone else with a “fuck everyone else” mindset—but you think that doesn’t apply to you. You have physical symptoms when he verbally abuses you by yelling, he never takes responsibility for his actions, blames you for everything that’s wrong, and tries to tell you how good you have it with him because other men are so much worse.
If I were writing an article on domestic violence, I’d use this as a checklist of the kind of man that should be avoided. There isn’t anything you’ll be able to do to help him as men with anger management problems tend not to improve until there is a self-chosen serious direct intervention for them to take part in, and for them to understand their own issues. I wouldn’t wait for him to get help and I wouldn’t try to fix him. He has to work on himself and you can’t arrange or make that happen. This is a situation where you have to use your professional understanding of what is happening to make the best decision for yourself. You deserve much better and while what he says may be true that there are men worse than him—there are many, many more that will treat you better.
You began your brave question by asking if this is the start of an abusive relationship. What I would say is that it sounds like the end of one.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral