At 19, you are no longer a kid. You are an adult. You may not feel like you are, but it’s a fact. I do understand that growing up with a difficult mother has been hard. But now it’s up to you whether you will continue to focus on all the things your mother does and doesn’t do — or if you will build a life for yourself. The only person who can do that for you is you.
Of course you are tired. You are on the internet all the time. That can suck up your time and your life. Whenever you take a break from being online, there you are — still in your mother’s house and not getting anywhere.
Ask yourself what you would expect an intelligent 19 year old guy to be doing. Then start taking steps to get there. That includes getting off line, out of the house and into an adult life. Get a job and/or go to school. Save your money so you can move out. Make a plan for how you will leave the comfort of having a mother who “does everything for you” and instead do everything for yourself. At least make a start. With every step you take toward being an adult, you will feel better about yourself and more competent. You will also probably feel less depressed.
If you can’t start claiming your own life for yourself by yourself, you may need to get back into therapy. I don’t think therapy will help you if you spend your time blaming your mother for your problems or putting labels on her. You need the kind of therapist who is going to help you get motivated and busy constructing your adult life.
I wish you well.