At this point in time, safety is paramount. At a later date, you’ll have plenty of time to analyze why you entered this relationship and why you struggle to leave it. First and foremost, you must secure your safety.
Research suggests that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when leaving the abusive partner. The reason is power and control. An abuser may attempt to escalate their power in an effort to force their partner to stay. It’s important that you are aware of these dynamics.
I would strongly suggest contacting a crisis helpline or the police, if necessary. There are also domestic violence shelters that you could utilize. They will know how to help you. They are specifically trained to help people in circumstances such as yours.
Avoid going to your relatives’ homes for safety. It’s better to utilize the services of the shelter primarily because their locations are anonymous. Your partner likely knows where your relatives live. The fact that he has a gun and has put it to your head would suggest that he is volatile and dangerous. You don’t want to put your family in a position of having to be in danger.
Above all else, safety is your goal. You should also consider contacting a therapist. Attempt to acquire all the help you can. Stay safe and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle