I’m sorry that you are having these difficulties. It seems that you are in a dangerous predicament. It’s not okay for anyone to abuse you. If possible, you might begin exploring how to end this relationship. That may include meeting with an attorney and inquiring about a divorce. You might also consider where else you can live, perhaps with family or friends.
In the meantime, when he’s abusive, contact the police. I don’t know the laws in your country but in the United States, physical abuse is illegal. If the police were called in that situation, they would arrest the perpetrator then charge him with domestic violence and possibly other charges. He would be taken to jail and prosecuted in a court of law.
Another possible temporary solution is a domestic violence shelter. Again, I don’t know if such a service is available in your country but in the United States, many communities have shelters were victims can seek refuge and protection against danger. The shelters are staffed with knowledgeable case workers and therapists who can provide a host of services, including safety planning, counseling, services for children, and much more. Typically, the services are free of charge and can be lifesaving. It would be worth attempting to determine if you have such facilities in your community.
My general advice is to keep yourself safe, leave if you must, contact the authorities if you’re in danger, and begin thinking about how you can leave this relationship, should you decide you wish to do so. Please write again if you have any additional questions. Stay safe and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle