There are two main issues present. The first is your family. They are insensitive to the fact that you are suffering. The second issue involves your own mental health. It seems that you have been dealing with anxiety issues for over 25 years and from what it seems, have yet to seek professional help.
Regarding your sister, it seems as though you’ve done what you can to help her. Apparently, she needs more help than she is receiving. It would be best if she had outside assistance from social services. Perhaps you can make that suggestion.
You can try once again to explain to her that you are doing all you can but it’s unlikely that she’ll understand. In that case, you might have to accept the fact that she’s going to be upset with you despite your having done nothing wrong. It’s difficult to tolerate these types of situations but it’s unlikely she’ll change. As unpleasant as it is, you have to learn to endure it. It may be best to limit the time you spend with your family.
I would recommend consulting a therapist. Anxiety disorders are very common. They are also highly treatable. Both medication and psychotherapy are effective treatments for anxiety. Having lived with a treatable disorder for 25 years suggests that you have simply accepted anxiety as a fact of life. It shouldn’t be this way, especially when good, effective, evidence-based treatments are available. Even if it’s difficult to do, make an effort to seek help. Mental health professionals can assist you in solving both of these issues. I hope you will try it. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle