What’s important is that your reactions bother you. This tells us something about the fact that they seem to be outside of your control and what you want. This irritation is a good thing. It is what is needed to motivate you to change.
Begin with searching for a time in your life — or a situation now where you are simply okay with being with people. While I here this is an issue for you across the board — I’ve also had experience finding that what we think is EVERYWHERE actually isn’t. There may be one or two people, places and situations that are more tolerable than others. We are looking for a differential. When are these feelings NOT present? This gives us something very powerful to work with.
If you can find this situation (perhaps with family, cousins, a teacher, in church, a childhood friend, etc.) then explore what makes this situation different from the others. It is curious to me that you begin with “My friends…” implying that there are people in your life already that you see as your friends. Find those who are, somehow, different than the others, you feel closer to, and explore why. What makes some situations and people easier to accept than others? The differences may be subtle, but important to understand what makes even the slightest difference in how you relate.
Then build on this. The trick with this situation is to realize you are getting exactly back from people what you are putting out. This is a skill set that can change. If, indeed, you want better relationships you’ll have to change your behavior. Explore whose calls, emails, and texts you return more often and ask yourself why. Then build on this. To change what you get back from others you’ll have to change how you approach and react to them. The “why” behind this is nowhere near as important as the what to do to change it.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral