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Question about My Responses

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Sometimes when someone does me wrong I will bring it up to them the next I see them. I’m very bold in my expression I am calm but usually I will be insulting and ask them why they did it. I’m usually quite the ass and wish them the worst luck in life. Simply because I believe that everyone should show some remorse for being rotten. Most people don’t seem to care less and say that I need professional help. I guess my question is do I? When I talk about these situations I’m not talking about simple mistakes. For example a woman I met in a online dating site 7 years ago after 3 weeks of deep conversation suddenly broke all communications and that was it. No explanation. I let it go. But today I saw her on the same site still and basically told her that it was a bs thing to do and that I’m glad she’s still struggling to find love because she didn’t even give me a chance and that’s what she gets for not even trying. She says I should seek help. It’s not normal to hold that kinda anger. Thing is I haven’t thought about her in years. Just suddenly seen her today and messaged her that simply because it would have taken 2 sentences of saying sorry not interested instead of just ignoring someone with no reason. Do I need help? Because this type of situation has happened often in my life.

Question about My Responses

Answered by on -

A.

You believe everyone should show “some remorse” for being rotten. It would be nice if that were true. Our world would be a different place if that were the case but unfortunately, it’s not. Your solution to this, it seems, is to be equally as “rotten” or abusive to the person who you feel wronged you.

The woman who stopped all communication with you had the right to do that. The two of you were dating and she apparently no longer thought you were a match. That is the nature of dating. Undoubtedly, she could have ended it differently. She was wrong to do what she did, however it was equally wrong for you to do what you did. You were both in the wrong.

You could’ve treated the woman on the dating site differently. You could’ve asked her why she ended all contact with you. You could’ve inquired about what didn’t work in the relationship, but instead you chose to say something hurtful. You seem to be operating from the perspective that if someone hurts you then they deserve your revenge and abuse.

It would be wise to consult a therapist (in-person) about this matter. The two of you can examine these situations in more depth and determine what went wrong and how to have a more appropriate reaction.

The more insight you have about this issue, the easier it will be to navigate these types of problems in the future. Finally, I must congratulate you on your willingness to inquire about this issue. It would suggest that you are open to change, should it be necessary. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Question about My Responses

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2019). Question about My Responses. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/04/03/question-about-my-responses/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 31 Mar 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 31 Mar 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.