It must be a terrible burden to have these horrible thoughts that you know are not okay, while at the same time not being able to manage them. I appreciate your bravery in talking about this here and will encourage you to set up with an appointment with a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. You need an evaluation to get to the bottom of this.
The rapid mood swings, aggressive ideation, inappropriate reaction to accidents, trauma, and violence seem like on-going intrusive thoughts. There can be a variety of reasons for this and an evaluation by a professional who understands these symptoms is necessary. Getting someone to help you identify the cause of these intrusive thoughts and inappropriate feelings is very important. You’ve taken the first step here to ask the question. The next step is to find someone locally who can help you sort this through and come up with a plan to help you deal with it all.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral