You are making assumptions about how you “should” feel and then comparing yourself against those assumptions. The problem is that your assumptions are most likely inaccurate.
For instance, you write about “maternal need” but no such thing exists. There are maternal instincts and maternal behavior but there is no such thing as a “maternal need.”
The fact that you care about these issues separates you from the people who have no remorse and empathy — people otherwise known as psychopaths. Psychopaths would not worry about these types of things. They simply do not care.
You also described how you feel when you hurt someone else’s feelings. You only care when they are upset at you. That is perfectly normal. If you upset someone, it causes problems in the relationship. If there are problems in the relationship, then it is a problem for you and thus your being upset would make sense. If no one is upset, there is no problem.
In addition, you mentioned the urge to hurt people and animals. You’ve never acted on this urge but it worries you. Again, the fact that you care separates you from the psychopath who does not care.
These issues are perfectly acceptable to discuss with your psychologist. You did nothing wrong and thus there would be no reason for them to call CPS. Thoughts, of any nature, are not illegal. There is no such thing as the “thought police.” Therapy can ensure that you never act on your urges which is why it is important to discuss them in counseling. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle