From a young woman in Poland: I had a guy whom I work in one office (open space) with and we were in a relationship. I let him push me sexually and push my boundaries. He touched me and I told him no, I told him I am not ready, this is too soon that I feel bad about it and he did it again and again. He would rub my ladies parts and I enjoyed it, had an orgasm but did not feel okay with that I was sad I told him it was too soon and keep on telling him no in the future and then letting him touch me anyway. Then he told me that I only take and not give anything to him, I was not ready but felt bad about “using him” for pleasure so I let him have sex with me, I felt bad and he was pushing me until I pleased him.
Once I stayed first time overnight he did the breakfast and asked me to do the dishes afterwards.
Once we had sex and the condom broke, I told him it’s not my fertile days so it is okay. He never even asked if it is okay.
He was supposed to go to a wedding with me, he already knew my mom, would meet my whole family tho. He said he will go, he even re-organised his commitments for that. The day before the wedding he broke up with me, he did not even say it to me that he will not go, I had to ask him. He propose to give money to my cousin instead f going to cover the costs.. Never took into consideration how will I feel. He told me that I cannot give anything I only take, that I never proposed to pay, but he never took me out for dinner, we went to cinema once, once for beer or some tea. The costs were so low I did not think to propose to pay. But if he would ask me I would never refuse.
Then he saw me at work being really pale almost passing out. Everyone asked me what’s wrong if I am okay, if I need anything but not him.
After a while I started another relationship and only then did I see that a man can treat me in a good way and I was always really thankful for each good thing done to me. I always said thank you and always told my new man how I appreciate him and he said this is normal. Looking back in time, I realized that this is in fact normal, that I always before expected normal, good treatment and said “NO” for anything else than that. I know the guy from work treated me bad and I know he did manipulate me somehow into it, I just have no idea how and why did I let him, why did I let it go on and on?
Now I still work with my ex and when I look at him I feel grossed out by him as a person (and otherwise in the office he has a diamond clear reputation as a perfect golden boy, always helpful etc). I feel like he did something bad to me but even I am doubtful if he really did; and why did I let him