I’m a teen and don’t know what I’m doing with my life, I’m not very good at expressing myself so I try my best
I feel like I’m doing the same thing over and over again, with no real point in anything. My friends laugh and have inside jokes which I feel I’m not allowed to understand. I constantly feel like a third wheel and feel like an unfunny burden which they feel is their responsibility to take care of even if they don’t want to.
I don’t understand why I feel like I’m useless at everything, I’m a constant worrier and I know that I’m not useless, I’m smart but I feel like I am useless.
I look in the mirror and I say that I feel good about myself but deep inside I know that I really don’t and its getting hard to convince myself about it.
I don’t know why but a lot of things which I used to love, English, Art, Baking, Badminton I just don’t have the passion for anymore. I come home every day knowing that tomorrow I have to wake up again at the same time, eat the same breakfast, get on the same bus, go to school and do the same boring subjects every day. I get bored so easily and honestly, I just don’t care anymore. I feel drained and tired. I can’t sleep at night even though I wish I could.
The only time I feel good is when I’m with my old friend from primary school (elementary school for the Americans) who we pretend to hate each other, but we’ve actually gotten pretty close recently.
I feel like a monster, and I feel selfish and I know that I have something wrong with me but I don’t know what.
I also think that I have an minor eating disorder, but I honestly don’t know. I feel like I feel that way because when I was younger I was told that I was skinny and I feel like if I’m not still skinny when I’m older then my family will judge me. I’m also so bloody positive towards other people but I just can’t say that to myself.
I’m sure I have some kind of anxiety and depression but I don’t know because I’ve never been educated about it.
Thank you for any help.