Without verifiable proof, it may be impossible to know if your memory is real. Living with this ambiguity can be difficult. There is evidence to suggest that it is real but you may never know with certainty. Memory is notoriously fallible.
The evidence to suggest that the memory is real is fairly strong. Your vivid dream. Your additional memories. The bedwetting and additional physical health problems. Those are all consistent with early abuse, but are not proof.
The unconscious mind records every moment of our lives but only so many memories can be maintained in the conscious mind. Many of those memories are repressed for various reasons. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that abuse memories are repressed because they are psychologically painful. People who have been abused may not remember their abuse until they are psychologically ready to deal with it.
You should not be afraid to speak to a therapist about this issue. They won’t think negatively of you. They are trained to deal with these issues. You might choose a therapist with training in trauma and abuse.
The goal for dealing with this issue is not necessarily coming to a definitive resolution about whether you’ve been abused. A more realistic goal would be to proactively prevent possible abuse from the past, from negatively impacting you in the present. Good luck and please to care.
Dr. Kristina Randle