advertisement
Home » Ask the Therapist » I’m No Longer Allowed to Enjoy Something with My Friend

I’m No Longer Allowed to Enjoy Something with My Friend

Asked by on with 1 answer:

Hello.
For my issue, it might seem silly. I feel as if I’m no longer allowed to enjoy something with my friend G.

My friend G and I enjoy certain things together, like the video game of Splatoon. I find it great to talk to her about that game that we love so much. However, I got into Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and at first, she wasn’t into it. All of a sudden, she changes her mind and tries to make it her own thing. It’s like you get into the sport of basketball, and your friend gets into the sport too, and you get kicked off of the team because of them.

Even though she kicks me out of liking the one topic, she still gets to like other things by herself; some that I won’t get into. G has been known to get whatever she wants, no matter what it takes.

As of now, I’m surrendering. I can’t enjoy BotW anymore, and it really stinks. It was such a wonderful experience, and G was a hypocrite when saying, “Oh, that’s a single-player game, right?” and then gets into it later.

Sorry for bothering you with my issue. I just hope you can give me the best advice about this. Thank you.

I’m No Longer Allowed to Enjoy Something with My Friend

Answered by on -

A.

One of the experiences of having a friend over time is learning that the nature of the relationship changes as more of the person’s character is revealed. Sometimes it is for the best and other times is like what is happening with you and G.

You’ve chosen to surrender to this experience with your friend and I believe that is wise. If you want to and it feels like it won’t take too much energy, I’d let G know how disappointed you are in her and that if you were to continue being her friend you would need her behavior to change. The key here is not to exert too much effort. If she is going in another direction unhooking from her is the best option, and finding others to enjoy playing and being with will be your best option.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I’m No Longer Allowed to Enjoy Something with My Friend

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2019). I’m No Longer Allowed to Enjoy Something with My Friend. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 14, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/03/09/im-no-longer-allowed-to-enjoy-something-with-my-friend/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 7 Mar 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 7 Mar 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.