I am happily married, working in a job I enjoy, and by all standards live a regular life. But every year, around the same time (the end of January) I become severely depressed. I don’t want to see anyone, I’m not myself at work, I cry all the time, my sleep is affected, and my heart feels likes it’s in overdrive. I don’t think it’s winter blues … cold, clouds and rain don’t bother me generally. It’s very concerning but the feeling goes away in some days.
I was having one of these episodes just today and my husband asked if it’s happened before. He is so worried about me and keeps asking me to tell him what’s wrong and I just keep saying I don’t know. But I realized it happens the same time every year. And it was this time, 8 years ago, that something very severe happened to me. I lost a relationship and I was devastated.
I wanted to know if it’s possible that I am subconsciously remembering this event at this time every year and it is making me feel the same way it did when it actually happened?
Or am I actually just feeling the winter blues? Please help, not sure how to handle this and it is affecting my daily life.Seasonal Depression
It would’ve been helpful to know more about the event that occurred eight years ago. It sticks in your mind as a possibility. It “devastated” you. It’s highly possible that this event is the cause of the problem but without more information, it’s difficult for me to know.
You specifically asked whether or not you are “subconsciously” remembering this event every year. If you remember it, then it is not “subconscious.” The fact that you do remember it would suggest that is a conscious memory.
Seasonal depression is also a possibility that should be explored. It’s not uncommon for some people to be depressed in the winter. It’s dreary, cold and dark. It can cause sadness and an overall sense of apathy. However, it’s equally possible that the event that occurred eight years ago, is the source of the problem.
It would be wise to consult a mental health professional in this matter. It could help you to understand why you repeatedly feel a particular way during the same time period each year. Therapy will very likely assist you in remedying this problem. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle