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Can Our Relationship Survive His Cheating?

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From a woman in Australia: My husband cheated on me emotionally with a female work colleague.  As far as I know and he promised me that it was not physical. I found out when her husband contacted my husband and told him to leave her alone.  I was devastated as I felt cheated on and I have lost trust.

I think it has damaged our relationship well my part as I find it hard to trust him, and I feel like we are no longer emotionally there for one and other.  I am really struggling with it and want to know whether we will eventually get through this.  I feel like it has been swept under the carpet and not properly dealt with.

At the time he apologised profusely and then moped around for the next couple of days feeling sorry for himself and I ended up feeling sorry for him.  We are together in an ok relationship with 2 beautiful kids.  Will our relationship survive and where can we go from here?

Can Our Relationship Survive His Cheating?

Answered by on -

A.

Relationships can and do survive this kind of situation. It is up to both of you to do the work to make it happen. Sometimes a disruption like this creates an opportunity to identify problems in a relationship so that they can be worked on. I’m guessing that “okay” hasn’t really been enough for either of you for some time.

You have two “beautiful kids”. From my point of view, they deserve to have parents who will make a genuine effort to rediscover the love and trust that are the foundation of a solid and happy marriage. The two of you deserve to make the kind of satisfying and intimate life together that results.

You haven’t been able to get past this on your own. I therefore encourage you both to get into couples counseling for the guidance and support you need to rebuild your relationships. You and your kids are worth it.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Can Our Relationship Survive His Cheating?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). Can Our Relationship Survive His Cheating?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/02/15/can-our-relationship-survive-his-cheating/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 Feb 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 15 Feb 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.