From a teen in the U.S.: I always have an overwhelming urge to hit things. For example when I am on my phone, I will hit the screen with the palm of hand. When I am driving, I swing my arms out as if I am hitting something in front of me. Most of the time I ignore these sudden movements, but I have recently started hitting my girlfriend on her shoulders and her hipbones while my arm is around her. I have not found a warning signal before the urge comes, so I have no idea how to stop it. Is there an alternative I could try instead of the hitting? In fact, is there possibly a way for me to overcome this all together?
I think you may be asking the wrong question. My guess is that some pressure of anxiety is building up within you and you have found that striking out relieves it. Instead of looking for alternatives to the behavior, it would probably be more helpful to look for the cause. If you deal effectively with what is creating the pressure, you won’t have the need to hit. If you can’t figure it out by yourself, I urge you to make an appointment for a few sessions with a mental health professional.
In the meantime, it is absolutely not, not, not okay to be hitting your girlfriend. Apologize. Tell her that under no circumstances should she put up with it. People who love each other don’t hurt them or threaten to hurt them. If you feel the urge, walk away! If you really can’t put an end to it, then please do her the favor of letting her go so she can find someone who treats her well.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
Why Do I Always Want to Hit Things?
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). Why Do I Always Want to Hit Things?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/02/14/why-do-i-always-want-to-hit-things/
Last updated: 13 Feb 2019 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 13 Feb 2019 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.