From a young woman in the U.S.: I feel disgusted when I’m around my mom. I can’t stand be close with her, I don’t feel “safe” around her, I feel like she’s strange person. I don’t want to talk with her, I don’t want to her touch me or anything like that. So basically I just want be far from her.
But most important thing I don’t hate my mom, she’s a pretty normal person, she’s never been mean to me, she’s never done a single bad thing to me. I actually kinda love her and I want to she being proud of me and just know that I’m okay, I want to talk with her but only by calls or something.
And this weird because I have no reason to behave like me. But there’s another issues. One bad thing I can say is that my mom don’t want to self-develop, she don’t have any plans and goals and that’s make me sad and feel ashamed of my mom, I want to her be successful. I don’;t call her “mom”I never say “I love you” so we don’t have ordinary parent-kid realtionship.
I also all my childhood hated all caressing when someone said something like you’re sweet” I immediately start saying like “no no, leave me alone, I hate this tenderness and shit” In childhood I also didn’t like hugs, kisses, etc. I’ve always been closed in my emotions with my parents since my early ages. Also I all my life been shy and now I have social anxiety. What’s wrong with me? I feel like totally mentally ill freak.