Ever since I was a little kid my dad has been an awful person. Once I got spanked for sticking my tongue out innocently. Once he destroyed my brothers stuffed animals when my brother found his knife. My brother was 3. Once my brother spilled water on his computer and our dad threw a bible at him. By the age of six I was expected to get to school on my own while dad slept. My brother and I were allowed to go to the park on our own while he slept as well. He thought anything we did wrong was a slight against him. Our babysitter abused us and he didn’t care. He’s always late picking us up from any babysitting type place we’re left. He told me my mother and her family didn’t care about me at all. He’s called me a bitch, wench, and other things of that sort. He poured water on my head when I told him I wasn’t going to kill myself if he was gone. He was upset losing him wouldn’t be enough to drive me to suicide. And even though he’s never actually hurt me…im scared of him. I’m scared he’ll snap one day and kill me. He keeps guns and knives around everywhere. And his temper is so explosive that I’m so afraid…every second I’m at his house im afraid for my safety. I called cps already but they didn’t do shit about it! I’ve thought of running away but I have nowhere to go, and if I’m caught that may be what tips him over the edge. I’m so afraid and no one will help me.
As you have pointed out, as of yet, he has not actually hurt you. That does not mean that he will not hurt you but he is not displayed that behavior, as of yet. At some point, if things escalate, the police or child services will be able to intervene. Apparently, the information that you provided to the police was insufficient to allow them to take action. You mention your mother and your mother’s family. Have you made them aware of your fears towards your father?
You have survived without your dad actually hurting you for a number of years. Now that you are very aware of the problem and your father’s anger and the things that trigger that anger, you are better equipped to deal with him. Minimize your interactions with your father as much as is possible. When interacting with him do your very best not to engage him or trigger his anger. Don’t allow this to become a battle between his way and your way.
If things worsen, make your mother’s family aware of the danger, make your teachers at school aware of the problem, notify child welfare or ask the police for help in involving child welfare and the courts. Your school is mandated by law to report suspected child abuse (not just proven) to child welfare. Don’t hesitate to talk to your school counselor, teachers or the principal. Please talk to those people and ask for their help. I wish you the best of luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle
I’m Afraid of My Dad
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2019). I’m Afraid of My Dad. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/01/30/im-afraid-of-my-dad/
Last updated: 29 Jan 2019 (Originally: 30 Jan 2019) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 29 Jan 2019 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.