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Self-Esteem Issue

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My family has ethnic minority ancestry. Since I was a child, I have many family members who talk against their own ethnicity. They constantly say horrible things like people of this ethnicity are “ugly & lazy & evil” They say that they are ashamed to be of this ethnicity, and they don’t associate with others of the same ethnicity. Family members did not approve of me joining a social group for people of this ethnicity, or even taking an ethnic history class. All of this has greatly lowered my self-esteem. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

Self-Esteem Issue

Answered by on -


Your ethnicity is part of your identity and you don’t need anyone’s permission to explore and understand it. Don’t look for permission, approval, or understanding from those who can’t give it. Check out the roots of your identity for your own growth and purpose. Don’t bother trying to change their minds—satisfy your own curiosity.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Self-Esteem Issue

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2019). Self-Esteem Issue. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 25, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 25 Jan 2019
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 25 Jan 2019
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