My best friend and I are extremely close. I have OCD, an eating disorder, depression and anxiety. She has depression and anxiety. About two weeks ago she suddenly stopped talking to me. I apologized profusely for whatever I had done. She then said I hadn’t done anything wrong but that she didn’t like my personality and that I made her uncomfortable.
This obviously hurt me and I asked what she was talking about. She proceeded to insult me and has not talked to me since. Every time I try to talk to her she walks away or tells me to leave her alone.
I’ve always been there for her, practically been her therapist. She has not done the same thing for me. She doesn’t even know the beginnings of my problems yet I know every single one of hers.
Her not talking to me has really affected me negatively and I have no idea how to solve this.
This relationship seems very one-sided. You felt that you were carrying the weight of the relationship. You helped her but she didn’t help you. One-sided relationships are always off-balance. They never last long.
It is important to realize that her behavior may not have anything to do with you. In other words, it may not be personal. It is more likely that she is reacting to her untreated anxiety and depression. Mental illness complicates interpersonal relationships.
You both may have expected too much from each other. You shouldn’t expect her to treat your mental health problems nor you hers. That’s the job of professionals.
Given your admitted mental health conditions, I would encourage you to consult a therapist. Encourage her to do the same. Professional therapists are trained to treat the types of problems with which both of you are struggling. Once treatment begins, the friendship may naturally resume. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Best Friend Suddenly Hates Me
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2019). Best Friend Suddenly Hates Me. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/01/07/best-friend-suddenly-hates-me/
Last updated: 2 Jan 2019 (Originally: 7 Jan 2019) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 2 Jan 2019 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.