There’s no way to know when or if his jealousy will cease to be a problem. It is likely that his lack of sexual experience with other women may underlie this problem. If he had come into your relationship, having had sex with several other women, it is likely that he would understand how trivial and unimportant those sexual contacts were.
People are jealous when they feel unsure about themselves. In other words, he lacks confidence and he may be insecure. There’s nothing you can do to change this. It’s not about you. It is his problem and unfortunately, he’s taking it out on you. That is unfair because you can’t change the past. Your past should have no bearing on your current relationship.
The purpose of dating is to determine compatibility. Ideally, if there’s a problem with the relationship, it should not progress into marriage. Too many people believe that problems that exist before marriage will magically disappear after marriage. That simply isn’t true. People don’t change simply because they’re married. The problems that existed before the marriage usually continue after the marriage and may even worsen.
You can suggest individual counseling or the two of you can try couples counseling. That might help. If he’s unwilling, then you have a decision to make. You will have to decide whether or not to accept being in a relationship with someone who is angry at you for having done something before the two of you met. His anger is unrealistic, unhealthy. Counseling and normal maturation will help. He needs to grow. Counseling will help but without it, don’t expect this to simply go away. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle