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I Can’t Speak to People

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So I met a girl in August and we fell in love with each other, she lives in the USA and I live in Sweden. We soon started to Skype and I noticed how I just can’t speak. Even now after 3 months, I’m still very quiet and it makes both her and me very frustrated.

This is some information that might be useful:
– I’m not nervous or uncomfortable when we Skype
– I don’t get anxious when I’m going to speak
– When I’m going to speak it feels like I have something in my stomach that just blocks me from talking

So it’s not nervosity, or me being uncomfortable or anxious. It’s really hard to describe this feeling, it feels like something is holding me back very hard, refusing to let me speak normally. This whole situation makes me very sad and anxious because I don’t feel good by making this girl frustrated, and I really want to talk, but I just can’t figure out what the problem is.

I Can’t Speak to People

Answered by on -


Unless there is something physically wrong with your stomach, then fear/anxiety may be the problem. Perhaps you have unrealistic expectations about how you’re “supposed” to behave and this is holding you back. I would need more information about your personal life to know what might be wrong. A few questions that I would ask would include the following. Does this happen in any other situation? What happens when you find yourself not being able to speak? Do you simply get off the phone?

If it’s only happens in certain situations, then it may be anxiety. Anxiety can be crippling if left uncontrolled.

If it continues to be a problem and you would like help, then consult a therapist. They can collect more information, analyze the problem and provide the necessary treatment. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I Can’t Speak to People

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). I Can’t Speak to People. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 23 Dec 2018 (Originally: 27 Dec 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 23 Dec 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.