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Insecure, Religion & Sex

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Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 5 months. She has been part of a Baptist chruch for 5 years now. But she is also bisexual which is a sin. Also another problem with her is her past and how insecure she is. Before she meet me she been with a few girls and they cheated on her so she basically shut down and locked herself from everyone else. Basically she is using religion to help her move forward in life and recover and become a better person. But people don’t realize that religion isn’t what fixes you it’s the people on the chruch with you. She feels like she owes her whole heart to Jesus because she believes that Jesus has been her savior. But along it has been people in the church. Because of the religion she is saying she is waiting until marriage for sex. But I believe she is using it to cover up herself because she so insecure about herself. Like trust me she I would say why but I only got400 words. Deep down inside she wants to do these things but she scared that if I see her naked or something that I will run away. We’re both overweight alot but nothing over 300 pounds. I don’t know how to handle this cause we both love each other and I’m willing to wait.

Insecure, Religion & Sex

Answered by on -

A.

You might try counseling to help you move forward in this relationship. In the meantime, respect her decision to wait. It doesn’t necessarily matter why she’s decided to wait, it only matters that you respect her decision.

You both are still developing and maturing. The teenage years are chaotic because people are going through a process of learning about their true nature, who they like, what they like, what’s right for them, etc. She has done nothing wrong.

Don’t pressure her to do anything that she is not ready to do. It’s best to be respectful and allow her to do it her way. If you don’t like her choices, then perhaps she is not a match for you. Counseling could help and I suspect would help, a lot. Thanks for your question. Good luck and please take care.

Insecure, Religion & Sex

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Insecure, Religion & Sex. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/12/23/insecure-religion-sex/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 20 Dec 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 20 Dec 2018
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