I have a problem. I don’t feel like I have a happy future ahead of me. Here are some reasons why I’m feeling down. I don’t enjoy my job, I have close to zero friends ever since I quit drinking and drugs, I’m always worrying about things that don’t even matter, I still think about the girl who broke my heart over ten years ago, My brother (who I love very much) lives on the other side of the country, I don’t know where to meet a decent girl that I could start a family with, I don’t have the spark or motivation to hold conversations with people, I have very little interest in many of the things I used to enjoy doing, and frankly, I’m afraid that I’m going to die alone without a family. These are just a few things I’m struggling with. On the flip side, I have a very good life (on paper). I have a mom and dad who love me and care about me, i have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and water in the sink. Most people would say I have nothing to complain about which is probably true. So I’m just wondering, why do I feel so hopeless for the future? I try very hard to be positive but I’m constantly waking up in a foul mood wishing I was still in dreamland. I’m very quiet at work because I simply don’t have the energy to engage in conversation. People probably think that I don’t like them or that I’m better than everyone else, but the truth is, I just don’t have the ambition to talk with people like I did when I was younger. I just feel so old but I’m only 27. Please help.
First, let’s celebrate the fact that you are no longer drinking or doing drugs. If anything good is going to happen, giving these up is a good start. But I didn’t hear you mention any 12-steep programs like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. I mention these because most who give up drugs and alcohol have to rebuild their lives through relationships and improving their well-being. No longer doing what was detrimental to you is a great start, but the extension of the skills you now need has to do with relationship and commitment.
I’d highly recommend you click on the links above for these 12-step programs and find an open meeting that is close to you and go see what they have to offer. The meetings are free (you can donate if you want) they are widely available and have some of the best practices for rebuilding your life in the ways you want.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Feeling Hopeless for the Future. Psych Central.
Retrieved on June 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/12/07/feeling-hopeless-for-the-future/
Last updated: 5 Dec 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 5 Dec 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.