Thank you for writing. So many questions deserve far more than a short response in an advice column. You’ve been through a great deal in your short life. It doesn’t surprise me that you are having difficulty with attachment and with social relationships. I don’t think you should expect yourself to handle it on your own. I think it would be very helpful for you to get the kind of help a therapist can provide.
A therapist can help you sort out many things. You were adopted out of one addicted family and placed in another one. That has to be confusing and distressing. It does make sense to me that one outcome of your background is that you are both emotionally too attached to others and not attached enough. I think you need support and guidance to figure out what’s troubling you about relationships and how to find a healthy balance in them.
I can’t tell whether there is an abuse history but it is certainly worth exploring the possibility with a counselor who can spend the time to really understand you and help you understand yourself.
Writing to us was an important first step. I hope you will take the next one and find a therapist who can give you the ongoing support and advice you need and deserve.
I wish you well.