It sounds to me like you may be seriously depressed. From what you shared in your letter, you have reason to be. You are not happy with your body. You say you have hormone issues, which could be contributing to the depression. You also shard that you haven’t developed enough self-confidence or social skills to make and keep friends. That would also make anyone feel isolated, lonely, and perhaps angry.
I think you first step is to see a medical doctor to confirm whether there is an endocrine disorder and, if so, how to treat it.
Then it would be helpful to see a mental health counselor to help you manage the depression and to coach you in social skills. If such help isn’t available in your city, do consider communicating with an online therapist. In addition, take a look at the forums here at PsychCentral. People from all over the world provide each other with practical help and emotional support.
Please take care of yourself. You found the energy and motivation to write to us which is an important first step in self-care. Now, please, take the next steps to improve your health and self-worth. You are only 20. With support, you can make the changes you need to make so you can have a happier life.
I wish you well.