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Is This Cheating?

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This happened in 2015, when my husband came home after a trip to Amsterdam.

He told me he had been to the RLD and wanted us to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

When I asked him about what transpired- he told me he was so drunk/ had a really bad hangover, and that he doesn’t have any recollections of what happened after he visited the area.

We got tested, results were negative.

But since then, he has provided multiple versions of the incident.

The most recent being a prostitute touched his hands and thighs.

I don’t still know what happened exactly and can’t believe if the final version is the whole truth? What should I do? How can I trust him?

Is This Cheating?

Answered by on -


Based on the small amount of information provided, it doesn’t seem as though he’s being fully disclosing. One cannot acquire a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from being touched on their hands or thighs.

As you may know, the Red Light District in Amsterdam is infamous for its brothels. Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands. He seems to believe that he had a sexual interaction with a sex worker. Thankfully, he did not acquire an STD and pass it along to you.

You may never learn the truth. He may not remember or be willing to tell you. Whether or not you decide to trust him is a decision only you can make. You might consult a therapist to assist you in this matter. They’ll help you determine the most appropriate course of action. Thank you for your question. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Is This Cheating?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Is This Cheating?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 21 Nov 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 21 Nov 2018
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