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People find me smart, but I find myself stupid. Although I love learning, and can earn any degree, in working life I do not know how to solve problems or use my knowledge. This makes me depressed and brings me failure. Also, I am thinking of a change career. Will this ever solve my issues? Or will I be studying in my entire life because I am not able to work properly? Or maybe I am really in the wrong field?

In my current profession, I feel like I am bored, my talents aren’t used. I feel wasted. It feels like my daily job has no result, I cannot accomplish anything, which bothers me, because am that person who works really hard until I get an honorable mention, if I do not get, I lose my interest really fast. Also, I live for challenges. I do not like team job, I like to win.

Since I realized everything I do and plan, that fails, I am really depressed and people started to notice something is wrong with me. I am usually a happy, vibrant, free soul person, now all I do is crying in random moments, feeling sad, thinking of death sometimes, thinking I have no value. I do not see my path, I just live day by day but not giving meaning to my life. I am also frustrated because I want to work and enjoy what I do, but my life is stuck. My parents advise me to stay in my career because may I regret the changes later, also I did not study 4 years to give up the entire thing. But the sad truth is, that I am not happy in my job. Should I really stay or change? I do not know. My life is a failure, my career is a failure, I am a failure. I am so excited about the career change, but will this really help, or it seems exciting only till the moment I realize how the job looks like in daily life? How do I find the job that would suit me best? Will this bring me out of depression?

Thank you in advance for helping me out! God Bless You (From Hungary)


Answered by on -


Thank you for explaining your situation and concerns. One thing that seems missing in your email is the number and quality of your relationships. Research shows that it isn’t what we do that brings us joy—it is who we connect with.

I’d put my effort into developing relationships with the friends you have and broaden the circle of people you relate to. Finding people who share the same interests, and enjoy the same activities is very likely to shift your mood faster than changing careers. Do this first, then figure out what career decisions are best for you. Cultivating good relationships is the best investment of your time and energy.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral


Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Failure. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 3, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 17 Nov 2018 (Originally: 21 Nov 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 17 Nov 2018
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