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Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?

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One month ago. She said about her secret a few days ago to me. My GF is now 19. Her stepfather first physically abused her when she was 7-8. In the beginning, it was forced. But when she grew an intimacy built up between them. So, she intentionally kept having sex with her stepfather till 2016. She has not done anymore since then. She doesn’t like stepfather for abused her physically in her childhood. She blames God for what happened to her. Now she is an atheist. I said to her that she was cheating with her mom. So, I said her to say everything to her mom. Because her stepfather is a bad person. He also has slept with other women. But my Gf is defending her stepfather because she says she was also guilty. But she has changed according to her speech. She wants to be a good person…. So please tell what should I do now? (From Bangladesh)

Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?

Answered by on -

A.

When there is abuse in the family there are dynamics that happens between the abuser and the abused that often cause the abuser to do what your girlfriend is now doing. Here is some information about that dynamic, and here is more information about typical reactions.

Your girlfriend needs a professional to help her understand what is happening and support for changing. Helping her get the therapy she needs would be a good goal for both of you to work toward.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/11/17/why-my-girlfriend-is-trying-to-save-her-stepfather-after-being-sexually-abused-by-him/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 Nov 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 15 Nov 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.