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My Mum Won’t Let Me Be with My Boyfriend

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I am 18 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and my mum has found out about my boyfriend as she took my phone and saw text messages and photos of him but in those text messages, we were arguing. I’ve never told her about him as it isn’t our culture to be involved with a boy. everything is fine except for the fact that me and my boyfriend are different religions and my mum wants me to eventually get married to someone who’s the same religion. I’ve told my mum I see a future with him and that I want to get married to him. based on the text messages she read though she saw us arguing and already has a bad impression of him and doesn’t want me talking to him as she wants us both to be done with education first which is 3-4 years’ time and then she said we’ll see. I don’t know what to do and I really want to stay with him and still talk to him as I love him so much and I don’t want anyone else unless it’s him. (From England)

My Mum Won’t Let Me Be with My Boyfriend

Answered by on -


Have a discussion with your mum about what you need from her. Talk to her about needing to have the dignity of making your own choices and mistakes. Explain that you need some freedom to grow and that you need her help with this. The idea is to begin a discussion with your mum that isn’t fueled under duress, but an ongoing discussion about what your needs are. You are looking for a dialogue—not an absolute resolution.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Mum Won’t Let Me Be with My Boyfriend

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Mum Won’t Let Me Be with My Boyfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 19, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 9 Nov 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 9 Nov 2018
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