It’s normal for teenagers to have fantasies about power and domination. That’s because their lives are ruled by adults. They virtually have no power. However, it is not the norm to have violent fantasies. Also concerning is the fact that you killed two cats. Most people would never hurt an animal on purpose. Cruelty to animals is a worrisome indication that something may be wrong.
You mentioned that you hear voices and hallucinate. The symptoms indicate a possible mental illness. Evaluation by a mental health professional, in-person, is necessary. Your behaviors may be driven by an underlying mental illness which might explain the way you feel.
Ask your parents to take you to a mental health professional. You don’t necessarily have to tell them every detail provided in this letter but tell them enough so they take you seriously.
Hospitalizations typically don’t last long. The goal is stabilization and to connect patients with the appropriate outpatient services.
Once you begin treatment, you will likely stop having violent fantasies and desires to hurt people or animals. Your symptoms are highly treatable but only if you ask for help.
If you cannot control your behavior or are at risk of harming yourself or someone else, then temporary hospitalization may be necessary. Contact the authorities or go to the hospital. They will protect you and treat your symptoms. The bottom line is that mental health treatment could help you immensely and I highly recommend it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle