Hello. I am a 35 y/o male diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at age 15 and haven’t had many friends in high school and always got picked on and bullied in middle school because I was “different”; and laughed inappropriately. The bullying still scars me deeply to this day. I currently live at home with my parents who are age 58 – 66. I work at a small startup company as a scanning technician since accounting jobs didn’t work out for me. I have been there since June 2012 and everyone there really appreciates my work and currently, everyone speaks to me. The accounting jobs were too complicated due to my autism/social anxiety.
Also, I never had a girlfriend and I am still a virgin. It feels really painful reflecting on my life. I currently work with 2 therapists and a psychiatrist. The sessions are helpful but it is very hard to apply what is said in session to everyday life, especially when I am feeling anxious/angry/stressed. I have been making improvement though and recently been nicer to people even though many aren’t interested in interacting with me. I don’t interact with any of my neighbors and they all feel uncomfortable around me which makes me ignore them more. I have been really anxious to wave to them because of the fear they will look away in disgust. Therefore I ignore them.
I am wondering if you have any advice for me. Also, I have a 26 yr old brother with cerebral palsy/migraines, and he has someone take care of him through the government. My dad is responsible for everything and anything in the household. His life is very stressful and he drinks heavily daily. He is in a very unhappy marriage and he is only staying in it for the disabled adult children. I had numerous arguments with him in the past but I stopped arguing with him since it only affects my mental well being. Any advice would be really helpful. :) Thank you.
I deeply appreciate the persistence, courage, and perspective you are sharing with us. I admire your search for something to help. I would highly recommend taking the time to find someone proficient in group therapy. There have been many excellent advances using group therapy for people who struggle as you do with Asperger’s Syndrome. Here is a listing of group therapist in your area that may be able to help. You can also check the ‘find help’ tab at the top of the page, and of course, ask your therapists for a referral.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Social Anxiety All My Life. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/10/27/social-anxiety-all-my-life/
Last updated: 26 Oct 2018 (Originally: 27 Oct 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 26 Oct 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.